33 Of The Weirdest Children’s Books EVER!

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Adults have corrupt minds; use two wrong words together and instantly an innocent sentence becomes a reason to laugh and think perverted thoughts. On the other hand, children are sweet and innocent, and don’t have the same odd ideas about everyday words or pictures.

This means that children’s authors can get away with using all kinds of language in books that kids will never think twice about.

Still, the parents reading the book out loud will likely think— waitwhat, huh!? This is especially true if they are reading one of the 33 weirdest children’s books from this list.

You must see the pages and covers from these books in order to believe it. Before shielding your little one’s eyes from the screen, remember there’s no need… these books were made for children!

1. The Kiss

A whole new meaning to the phrase “butter face.”

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

2. A Lesson About Awkwardness

Hmmm…. what is the author trying to say with this one…?

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

3. Poor Pussy Party Game

I’m guessing this game would be much harder for adults to play without laughing than children…

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

4. How Mr. And Mrs. Rogers Solve A Fight

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

5. When Horse And Human Become One

This is a great and informative photo, if only the human was drawn in a slightly different location…

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

6. What Not To Do To A Cat

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

7. Teddy Bear Prefers To Sit And Watch

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

8. Dick, Dick What Did You Lick?

Good thing this phrase isn’t reversed…. and does anyone else find it funny that the wiener dog is named Dick?

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

9. They Are Called Seamen For A Reason

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

10. “I Need Boys For Pleasure Island”

Be afraid, be very afraid!

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

11. I Must Know… What Is Harpo’s Horrible Secret?

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Photo Credit: amazon.com

12. Boy Vs. Girl

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

13. The Game That Is Always A Good Time!

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

14. The Butcher That Chops Up His Friends And Family

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

15. Curious George’s Secret Issues With Addiction

“Let’s sneak into the chemistry room and pull a Curious George!”

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

16. The Secret Of Being A Good Lover…

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

17. Apparently, This Is How Turtles Sleep

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

18. Kung-Pao! This Karate Champ Lets It Rip

What broke the brick? His foot or his toxic fumes?

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

19. Life Lesson #31: Don’t Ever Unplug An Elephant’s Butt

Thanks to an earlier page from this book we know this is a girl elephant!

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

20. Suck It!

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

21. Always Beware Of Invisible Dick

Thanks for the warning, Frank Topham!

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Photo Credit: unknown

22. Sweet Intentions, Strange Title Choice

Simply change the illustration on the cover and you can alter the entire meaning of this children’s book.

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Photo Credit: amazon.com

23. Horse Balls

Perhaps an illustration would help clarify this… or maybe not.

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

24. World’s Weirdest Bossiest Children’s Book

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Photo Credit: robbie reviews

25. Classic Book, Age-Old Message

Although… apples don’t poop!

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Photo Credit: amazon.com

26. Fellow Fags

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Photo Credit: unknown

27. 50 Shades Of Grey… For Boy Scouts

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Photo Credit: amazon.com

28. Angry Pig

Well, duh… clearly this angry pig just needs to be unplugged!

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

29. Peeping Tom George

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

30. Cow Parts

This cow has the same mouth and anus!

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Photo Credit: imgur.com

31. The Beast In The Bathtub

Looks like beasts give the best back scratches in the tub!

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Photo Credit: Heather Ogden

32. This Is A Classic Hungarian Cartoon Based On An Old Fairy Tale… No, It’s Not Photoshopped!

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Photo Credit: Zsuzsanna Li Vigni-Pintér

33. The Lion King!

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Photo Credit: imgur.com